(Spoiler Alert)

The five finalists selected were:

Adam Hunter:  Unfunny young comedian who looks like a young, facial hairless Bret Michaels.  His set was over-rehearsed, and he seems like the type of comedian that cannot adapt his material to different audiences.  It almost seemed as if he might as well be delivering to an empty house.

Jeff Dye:  I didn’t like his original audition, and I really hated his set on the show.  The cornerstone of his set was a complaint that girls at the gym dislike being stared at despite wearing provocative attire.  An old, wornout bit, one that Dave Chappelle made much funnier on Killin’ Them Softly.

Ron G: Tentative, monotonous, boring.  He picked a very weak gag (“squeaky voice”) to base his set on, and somehow got rewarded for it. 

God’s Pottery:  News to the two buffoons in this duo–they’re already doing your act Off-Broadway, and it’s called Altar Boyz.  Their lowbrow concept lacks originality, pokes fun at far too easy a target, and is way too slow developing.  Word to the wise:  musical comedy comes across better when the comedians actually possess musical talent (aka Spanish Flys from earlier in the season).

Paul Foot:  He was at least funny, although I don’t know that he would have cracked my top five.  Definitely has original material, although it would figure the biggest laugh he drew was on his only sophomoric joke (which was about, of course, sex).

Here’s who should have made the final cut…

Winston Spear:  Scirripi apparently didn’t like his persona (all the more maddening since he loved God’s Pottery’s “act”), but he was one of the few comics to veer from observational humor and merely tell funny screwball stories.

Andi Smith:  The one comic who didn’t play it safe and wasn’t afraid to say things that made audience members uncomfortable.  Anybody who says someone with a wooden leg is “practically a table” is a winner in my eyes.

Phil Palisoul:  He clearly knew how to use a gimmick, inserting his “I’m a Jackass” bit early in the set, and reintroducing it later at the right moment.

Dale Jones:  If they were going to pick one lowbrow comedian, this was the guy to choose.  His very physical comedy was a lot more entertaining that the two Backstreet Boys (Dye and Hunter) they picked.  He also knew how to involve a crowd in his act.

Dan Naturman: Ok, so self-deprecating humor isn’t exactly new, but he had perfect delivery and good material.

I know humor is extremely subjective but yow…the irony is that they dedicated the episode to the memory of George Carlin at the end, but somehow I think Belzer and Scirripi would have passed him over too.

Superman Returns broke new ground, however, by becoming a sequel to a movie that was never made.  It was ‘loosely’ based on the storyline from the first two movies, but frankly it really had little to do with them other than the name.

The same is true of The Incredible Hulk–although some seem to indicate it is indeed a sequel to 2003′s Hulk, the origins of Bruce Banner’s alter ego are explained in a fashion contrarian to the events of the prior movie.  So it isn’t.

The inherent problem with this approach, right off the bat, is that audiences no doubt will feel the same confusion that I did for the first fifteen minutes, being that exposition is eschewed for instant action.

I was one of the minority who enjoyed 2003′s Hulk–it was introspective, dealt with personal struggle, and explored themes other than the destruction of faux-buildings on a Hollywood backlot.  The Incredible Hulk is a one-dimensional affair. 

We know the story–Bruce turns roid-ragey when he’s angry, loves the General’s daughter, and is always on the run from angry military officials.  And, in this affair…that’s really all that happens.

Bruce (Edward Norton), now in South America, wakes up following a confusing (and swift) montage of past events that we’ve never seen before since they weren’t part of the prior film.  The screen beckons that it has been “158 days without incident”– it appears Bruce has worked long and hard on his yoga techniques.

Banner, contrary to Eric Bana’s version of the character, does not enjoy the Hulk transformation and is attempting to find an antidote.  He spends much of his time conversing online with a man only known as Mr. Blue, who he believes may have an end to his ‘curse’.

Meanwhile, General Ross (William Hurt) has not given up on his endless quest in apprehending Banner.  It’s not too long before a minor factory accident alerts Ross to Banner’s whereabouts, and Ross decides to bring deadly marine Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) with him.

An exciting pursuit ensues through a village, but unfortunately for the military (and Bruce), a run-in with local thugs during the pursuit causes Bruce to become the Hulk, and he, of course, overpowers the military.

Which brings me to an inherent flaw in the Hulk storyline that always drives me nuts–why does the military, knowing full well that its current line of ammunition will not even break the Hulk’s skin, continue to waste taxpayer dollars by firing every round into him?  Then again, this is the same government that invaded Iraq on faulty intelligence….but I digress.

Ross and company attempt to subdue the Hulk with a tranquilizer, but fail.  Bruce/Hulk escapes many miles away and eventually makes it back to the United States, where he accidentally runs into Betty (Liv Tyler), his old love interest, who just happens to be the General’s daughter

The General explains the Hulk’s origins to Blonsky (contrary to Ang Lee’s film, it was not hereditary in nature or present in his childhood).  Blonsky is obsessed with taking down the Hulk, so its no surprise when he volunteers to undergo a procedure to make him stronger, faster, and more durable–like the Hulk

Due to a tip from Betsy’s jealous beau, Bruce and Betty are found, resulting in an explosive confrontation that results in Blonsky’s near-death.  Bruce and Betsy escape to a cave many miles away.

Blonsky recovers from his condition due to his prior procedure, which causes him to re-generate.  Meanwhile, Bruce and Betty find Mr. Blue to find a cure…however, Blonsky has other ideas, forcing Mr. Blue to inject him with more Hulk-potion, turning him into an unrecognizable monster.

This is where the film completely derails.  An ostentatious, yet unfulfilling battle between Banner and Blonsky emerges, but the ensuing CG fest lasts far too long and ends in really silly fashion.  General tip:  when building to a grand finale for 90 minutes, you better make sure you deliver.

Norton is a servicable Bruce Banner, doing a nice job of embodying the ‘reluctant hero’ figure.  Tyler’s Betty is wasted for the most part, serving more or less as a plot device, but little more.  The dynamics of Bruce/Betty’s relationship are mostly only explored prior to imminent, ensuing chaos, but too much of it is left in the backstory, which of course we are not privy to since the movie is not a sequel.

Good comic book movies have to become more organic on screen–if little human element is added to the supernatural events, audiences will find little to nibble on while waiting for the next action sequence to develop.

This is even moreso true of the Hulk, who is a bruting beast who speaks in monosyllabic fashion.  Unfortunately, this movie fails to achieve much more than a few exciting chase sequences and explosions.  Even the final action scenes left much to be desired, focusing too much on wanton destruction rather than the battle itself.

The film should have either become a direct sequel to 2003′s Hulk or started over from the beginning.   By reinventing the story while glossing over the exposition, the movie makes it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters; viewers are forced to create their own construct of the characters’ pasts, since Hulk’s events don’t count.  The short montage and five-minute backstory from Ross do little to help fill in the details, instead obscuring them further.

Incredible Hulk has its moments, but in the end there are far better comic book movies (such as Iron Man) to indulge in.  Wait for DVD release for this one.